heart breaking honesty
by ada-lightning
Summary: nikola visits helen and they have an unexpected heart to heart


**AN: ****Hey guys! Sorry for disappearing for like 3 years haha life kind of got crazy. Anyway this popped into me head at work and refused to leave until I had written it out. Sorry if its kind of random and doesn't fit in anywhere in the latest season. I haven't been able to watch any of it which is depressing. Especially because ive been hearing rumors of some teslan moments (no spoilers!) anyway enjoy! And reviews are love! It's a oneshot for now but maybe ill write more**

Heart Breaking Honesty

Nikola paced at the door of the sanctuary waiting impatiently. He shoved his hands in his pockets and turned to face away from the door looking out over the city. Helen has kept him waiting for what seemed like a century. Suddenly he heard the sound of heels clicking and the door finally opening. He spun quickly, "Well it's about-" he stopped short as he took her in, something was off. She was leaning against the side of the door, as if it was holding her up.

"Nikola! What a lovely surprise," Helen greeted cheerfully, but her words came out slurred. Nikola's stomach churned at the realization that something was definitely wrong. In one stride he was in front of her.

"Helen, what's wrong?" his hand went to her forehand, "your burning up."

Helen laughed and brushed his hand aside "I'm fine! You my friend," she took this moment to bop him on the nose with her finger, "worry too much! Come inside!" she grabbed his hand and led him in, the door swinging shut behind them. "I've missed you!"

"Helen…" he said nervously watching her closely as she bent around a plant and brought forth a bottle of wine hidden there, it all suddenly clicked. "Are you drunk?" he asked in disbelief. She looked at him like he had said something completely hideous.

"Am I drunk?" she repeated appalled throwing a hand dramatically to her chest, where Nikola was temporarily distracted by the lovely low cut top she was wearing, "I would _never_!"

Nikola wasn't buying it, "uh-huh", he said grabbing the bottle of wine from her, taking note that it was only half empty. "Why do I feel like this isn't the first bottle you opened?" Helen rolled her eyes and tried to snatch it back from him, unsuccessfully. She stumbled a bit but Nikola easily caught her and steadied her.

She sighed "alright, maybe a little," she admitted ducking her head. "But didn't you have a reason for coming? Something about doing some scans?"

Nikola eyed her suspiciously "yes…are the kids home?" He asked as they started walking down the hallway.

"No, they are on a mission in South Africa. I didn't go with them because I had a meeting tomorrow which was conveniently cancelled." She explained in a rush as she led him to Henry's lab.

"So," he quickly stepped in front of her, stopping her forward progress. She bumped into him and Nikola took the opportunity to wrap his arms around her waist, "your telling me that we have the house to ourselves tonight?" he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively, expecting her to roll her eyes and push him off. Instead she leaned in closer to him and a devilish grin spilled onto her face.

"Yes" she whispered to him, reaching behind her to grab the bottle Nikola still held. He stood still, stunned. He quickly got a hold of himself and released her, taking a step back. He would not take advantage of her in this state. "Um to the lab" he said walking quickly, his voice squeaking in a very un-vampire like manner. Helen followed after him, humming something he couldn't make out. When they reached Henry's lab Nikola set up shop and began typing away at the computer. Helen cleared off the spot on the table next to the computer and clumsily climbed onto it. Nikola eyed her from the corner of his eye; she must be more drunk than he thought. Helen never did anything clumsily.

"So," she said swinging her feet and taking swig from the wine bottle.

"So?"

"watchya working on"

"I'm screening your defense systems."

"Why?"

"To make sure they are adequate"

"Henry can do that you know" she pointed out clicking her heels together.

"I wanted to do it myself."

"Why?" Had Nikola not been a vampire, he knew his face would have been burning. He ignored her question and continued to run scans. He wasn't about to tell her he wanted to do it himself because he'd been thinking about her a lot recently, worrying even, and about how easily the sanctuary could be compromised. She looked at him, grinning. "It's because you care about me isn't it?" she said joyously "You don't want me to die!"

Nikola rolled his eyes "Your death would be rather inconvenient and a bit depressing" he replied not looking at her. Helen giggled and drank some more. She reached out a hand and ruffled his hair, earning her an annoyed yet slightly amused look from Nikola; he hadn't seen her drunk in quite some time. "I'm just making sure the dog didn't leave any fleas anywhere."

Helen let out a hearty laugh, "oh Nikola, I love you"

Nikola half smiled, his heart sinking a little "I love you too," he replied saddened by the thought that she would never fully understand how much he meant it.

"No." Helen replied surprisingly stern.

Nikola glanced over at her, amused, "No? I'm not allowed to love you?" he feigned a hurt look. "I promise I'm good at it."

Helen scrunched her face in frustration that both confused Nikola and had him thinking how adorable she was. "I mean I don't love you," she put love in quotes as she gestured around wildly. "I love Will and Henry and the Big Guy, but _you_ I don't love _you_." At this point Nikola completely abandoned his work and was staring at her, his face a blank stare trying to process what she was saying. She grabbed onto his suit jacket guiding him to stand in front of her. "Nikola what I'm trying to say is I don't l-"

"Yeah, I get it," he snapped brushing her hands away from him and turning to go back to the computer.

"No!" she grabbed his jacket and yanked him back to her. She smacked her forehead and squinted her eyes "god this is not coming out right," she looked back up at him and brushed a hand to his cheek. "I don't love you because I'm _in _love with you!" Nikola didn't move, and he was pretty sure he couldn't even if he wanted to. He had never thought that she would return even the smallest amount of love to him. A pained expression passed over his face as he gently removed her hand from his face.

"It's just the wine talking honey," he said in a low voice staring down at their hands. They sat there in silence both staring down at their intertwined hands.

"Nikola, look at me," Helen said gently. Nikola complied after a moment. He looked and was drawn into her beauty. Her big blue eyes stared into his own, trying to communicate through the haze of alcohol. "I'm tired of this."

"Tired of what?" He asked in a daze as he brushed a stray lock of hair behind her ear and he felt her lean into his touch.

"I'm tired of this game we play, I know I love you but I never know if you love me." Nikola was taken back. He had thought his feelings for Helen had been painfully clear. "I can never tell if you really love me or if you are just using me."

"Helen" his hand went to her face again, how could she ever think he didn't truly love her? She sighed into his touch and the smell of wine filtered through his nose and he was forced to face reality one again. "Don't tell me this now" she gave him a questioning look but he cut her off before she could say anything "tell me in the morning, please," He begged, his voice breaking.

"I'll be too scared in the morning." She said honestly tears filling her eyes. Nikola felt like his heart was being ripped out. He was so close to getting everything he wanted but yet there was still a barrier between them. He didn't want this conversation to happen while she was intoxicated; he wanted it to be real.

"I know."

A tear slipped down her cheek and Nikola caught it with his thumb. "Are we ever going to have our happy ending Nikola?"

Nikola wanted more than anything to wrap her in his arms and tell that yes they will have their happy ending. He wanted so much to pull her into a kiss and spend the night with her, but instead he said "I don't know, but I hope so." They sat in silence.

"I should go to bed" Helen finally broke the silence and Nikola just nodded and took a step back, Helen jumped off the table and gasped as her knees gave out from underneath. Nikola caught her though, like he always did. Instead of letting her stand he swooped her up into his arms and she wrapped her arms around his neck, letting her head rest on his shoulder as he carried her to bed. He noticed her eyes start to close as he carried her and when they reached her bedroom her breathing had already evened out. He laid her gently into bed and slid off her heals. He pulled the covers up to her shoulders and turned to leave when suddenly I hand caught his.

"Please stay," came her quiet angelic voice, "Just till I fall asleep?" How could he say no to her? She slid over as he shook off his shoes and coat. She held up the covers and he crawled underneath, laying on his back next her. She curled into his side resting her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her, lacing fingers. She sat up onto her elbow and looked at him "I love you Nikola Tesla" she told him.

"And I love you Helen." He replied and his heart almost burst when she pressed her lips gently to his. The kiss was so innocent so sweet but over far too soon. She lied back down and Nikola kissed the top of her head. He waited until her breathing evened out and then a few minutes more, just enjoying the feel of her in her arms. He had no idea what would come of this night, he had no idea if she would even remember it. He sighed and slowly slid from underneath her. He stared down at her for a moment, he felt like he was being crushed, slowly but surely. He brushed her bangs from her forehead and kissed it gently. He gave her one last look before quietly slipping from the room.


End file.
